Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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