Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
