New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
