gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
