Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
