I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
