No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
