Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
