Quick, to the slutcave!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Randomize