WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The beer is more important than you right now.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
