There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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