We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
