4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
