There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
