i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
