just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
