oh god the rape fog is back!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
