I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm at about main and main street
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
