thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
