I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
