found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
