His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
