They should really pass out barf bags in church
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
