Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My cat gives me a boner
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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