Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You work out of a Hotel?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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