John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
