sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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