I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
