hell yes lets make some ravioli
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
