I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
