i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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