I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
