it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
