Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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