I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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