Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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