They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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