PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
