We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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