I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
