Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
