I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
