Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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