I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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