that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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