Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
