Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
