I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Damn victory sex feels great
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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