Don't you send me to vm
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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