That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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