ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
