Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
