Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
