scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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