he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
